Who's On First (Life in This United Kingdom, Part 2)

When we first broke the news of our impending move to Scotland, we got lots of different responses. Some were happy, some sad, and some just couldn't understand it. More than one person asked me, "Do they speak English there?" "Yes," I would tell them. "Of course they do." And they do. But, now, after three months and several weeks of seeing clients, I have learned something very important: British/Scottish/Irish English differs quite a bit more from American English than I might have imagined.

Here's an example, taken from an actual conversation with my coworker, who is Irish:

(background: Eve has been lamenting with me about the usage of words that mean different things here than back home. She's just informed me that "greet" means "cry" in Scotland).

Eve: I know. And, have you heard about "Waynes?" (actually spelled wean)

Amanda: Um....no.

Eve: Yeah, I didn't get that one for awhile. They say, "The wayne was greetin' "

Amanda: What?

Eve: You know, instead of "burn." (actually, bairn)

Amanda: What?

Eve: You know, like "the bairn was greetin'"

Amanda: (thinking in her head), the burn was crying? maybe I don't get what crying means.

Eve: Yeah, I thought everyone named their bairn Wayne when I first got here.

Amanda: (thinking) what? people name their burns?

Eve: (in response to my obvious dumb expression) You know, a bairn. Like, "the bairn is crying, I have to pick him up."

Amanda: What? Is a bairn a baby?

Eve: Like a bairn. Like, "your bairn is playing in the street, you better call him in."

Amanda: So, it's a kid?

Eve: Yea, a bairn.

Amanda: How do you spell that?

Eve: B-A-I-R-N

Amanda: Oh. We just call them kids.

Eve: Oh.

So, in preparation for your trip to visit, I have prepared a list of my new vocabulary words.

• ken: know (often used like Americans say, "you know" at the end of a sentence
• dinny ken: don't know (in response to a question0
• rubbish: trash/garbage
• cheers: thanks
• pudding: dessert (as in, what do you want for pudding tonight?)
• biscuit: cookie
  
• tinned: canned (as in tinned/canned beans)
• claipping: telling stories about someone
• wee: little
  
• tea: can mean tea (like you drink) or the evening meal
• brae: hill
• trousers: pants
• pants: underwear
• jumper: sweater
• tattie: potato
• neep: turnip
• lad: boy
• lassie/lass: girl
• polo-neck: turtle neck (as in sweater)

There are also all sorts of new ways for spelling words--a lesson I have learned by the fact that spell-check now tarnishes my Word documents, emails, and blog posts with dozens of red lines. It's behaviour not behavior; colour not color; centre not center; and so on.

In any case, I'm getting the hang of the words and accents, though it usually takes me a few minutes to get acclimated at the beginning of my sessions with clients. The combination of the accent, the words, and the fact that people talk really fast here (yes, even I think they talk fast) makes for some serious challenges to doing therapy with folks but for some definite entertainment (at least, my coworkers seem very entertained by my questions and tales).